Most often when Iraq War stories are told they are from a male veteran's perspective. In Jennifer's book, Calmed she writes not only her story but includes her husband's perspective of what being deployed together was like. When Jennifer put on her brother's Marine Corps uniform she stood a little taller and was inspired to look more into the military. She learned about the Army National Guard program that allowed her to attend Boot Camp between her junior and senior years of high school. Then she would complete AIT the summer after her senior year. She enlisted in 2001. Everything about what she expected the military to be changed on September 11, 2001. She ended up deploying to Iraq and we connected when I received her copy of Calmed. Calmed is a memoir written from her and her husband's perspective about their unit deploying to Iraq and their story after coming home.
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Check out the full transcript here.
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Amanda Huffman00:00
Welcome to Episode 155 of the women in the military podcast most often when iraq war stories are told, they're from a male veterans point of view. And Jennifer's book calm, she writes not only her story, but also includes her husband's perspective of what being deployed together was like, while they were deployed, they weren't married. So it's very interesting to hear the different perspective of what they saw and what they did on their deployment. On my flight home from California this summer, the screen in front of me didn't work. And so I decided to pull out her book and read it until I got bored. And I actually finished it as we were taxing on the runway at home, so I couldn't put it down and read it the whole way on the plane. And I just really enjoyed getting to hear her story along with her husband's story. While they were both deployed to Iraq. I just thought it was a really interesting way to do it. And I'm excited to talk about her experience in the military today and a little bit about her book. So if you want to check out her book, it's called calm, and it's linked in the show notes. Let's get started with this week's interview. You're listening to season three of the women on the military podcast Here you will find the real stories of female servicemembers. I'm Amanda Huffman, I am an Air Force veteran, military spouse and Mom, I Korean women in the military podcast in 2019, as a place to share the stories of female service members past and present, with a goal of finding the heart of the story, while uncovering the triumphs and challenges women face while serving in the military. If you want to be encouraged by the stories of military women and be inspired to change the world, keep tuned for this latest episode of women on the military. Welcome to the show. Jennifer, I'm excited to have you.
Jennifer Hobbs01:58
Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here as well. And I just want to start by saying thank you for your service as well.
Amanda Huffman02:04
Thank you. So let's start with why did you decide to join the military?
Jennifer Hobbs02:11
Okay, well, there's a couple different aspects that definitely played into that. And that would be number one, I had a lot of people in my family who were in the military not like to where I was military child being moved around because of it just had known that a lot of people and my family had been in at some point, but in my mother, my brother, my birth father and beyond that, so that made me interested in it. And as you read in the book, even just putting on my brother's marine uniform gave me a little sense of Oh, yes, feels good. But then as I think what just kind of sent me over the edge, per se would be coming from a family that was of like low income and like, those were challenges that I needed to figure out if I wanted to go to college, and I did. So the minute I heard like, not only could I do this thing here, you know, where are these little army greens and feel pretty awesome. And yet my college paid for Sign me up. Here we go. We're going so that was pretty much that was my choice. Now as far as like my MLS and my job that again, like, you know, I put a whole lot of thought into that I actually really complete sarcasm, I really wanted to be a military police. You know, I was 17 years old. So when you're giving all these different options of things to do, some of them sounded like Oh, interesting lessons you haven't really been exposed to much so to be like, Oh, wow. You know, like cable wire and communications. I want to do that. You know, your mind doesn't think that I was just thinking okay, well, I know what a police man does. And I think I want to be a military police. And since I did like the split up training that is offered to the army and I was Army National Guard. So the way that that works is you can actually get your basic training and AI t done in the summers of high school so that you have that completed upon graduating. So I did basic training the summer before my senior year. And then a it was the following summer and couldn't do military police because the schooling was longer than my summer. So if I wanted to maintain going to school on the schedule that I was planning to do, you know, starting in the fall, I needed to choose a different MLS. I was inquiring about another friend that I went to high school with who had told me like, you know, if you're thinking about the military, you should think about the National Guard and his MLS was a truck driver. And he went about an hour or 45 minutes away for drill. So I was like, Okay, well, what's it? Yeah, just make me whatever he is that way I can try to get to his unit. And then they said, Oh, well, that one has a $6,000 sign on bonus. And I was like, there we go. Sign me up. So that was all the due diligence and mindful thinking, and I put into those choices there.
Amanda Huffman05:41
Let's go back a little bit to you going to basic training between the summer of your junior and senior year of high school. That seems so overwhelming to me. Yeah. What was that experience? Like?
Jennifer Hobbs05:56
Well, I really, I definitely didn't have any idea what I was kidding myself into. And for me, and my husband, and I always still, you know, we agree to disagree, mostly just disagree. But I feel like my basic training was hard. It was hard. And I have so many stories in it that I won't go into. But for him, he was just like, it was kind of like basketball camp. And I was just so he drives me completely crazy when he talks about it. And he thinks that everybody was the same. So I had no idea what I was getting myself into, therefore, I had no idea how I would be coming out. And so you know, while you're there, and going through it, yeah, that knowing what you're missing, like, you know, what all your friends are doing. And you know, and then they don't have time really that like, right, you you know, because they're in the middle of summer. So you just like, that gets a little depressing when you're throwing yourself a pity party in the midst of very hard basic training, and you're just like, ah, I should be swimming right now or something like that. But then at the end of it, as you're coming out, and you return, and you hang out with people who are your best friends, and just get back into thrown into that transition of going right back to the civilian. That's where the, the hardest struggle, I think is and I feel the same way about a deployment that return to what is your normal and what you should be so used to and prepared for, you're a completely different person. And so doing that as seven team just made it even crazier, because to be feeling things like, you know, Upon my return to have feelings like, gosh, kind of getting on my nerves with what they're complaining about, which is so small and minute, and so insignificant, it was weird to be 17 and have those thoughts and suddenly just feeling like a different person having a different perspective and seeing your own friends and people you loved from a different light.
Amanda Huffman08:07
Yeah, I really, that's a really good perspective. And something I don't feel like we've talked about enough on the podcast, like when you're in training, it's really hard. But you have your team, and everybody's kind of in the same mindset. And so you get through it together, and then you come home and you're like a different person and your life's different. And you're looking at the world and you're like, wait, why are you asking the way that doesn't make any sense. And the deployment is the same thing. Like, it's really hard to be overseas, but you have this team of people, and you're all going through the same thing. I felt like, I was lucky when I deployed because I had people around me and my husband was alone, and he wasn't a female. So like the spouse group really did support him. So he was alone and dealing with those feelings. And I feel like some aspects of his experience were a lot harder than mine, because he was alone for so much of it. And I just went to the office. And you know, we all complain about the same thing, because we're all going through it. So that's a really important thing to talk about,
Jennifer Hobbs09:08
Actually, and you saying is really interesting. I haven't spoke to many women who speak about how their husband was the one home alone and didn't have like that support group. And so that is very interesting.
Amanda Huffman09:22
So you went through your senior year of high school with a little bit different perspective, because you had gone to basic and you knew that you were going to go to AIT when you graduated from high school for a truck driver. So what was that experience like? And then did you go to AIT and then go college and then drill on the weekends?
Jennifer Hobbs09:42
Yes. So when I returned from basic training, I returned the very beginning of August of 2001. So a month I was in school and a teacher walked in and whispered Something in my teachers there and immediately turned on the TV and there was the first wooden tower burning and everyone else, you know, we're all just completely mystified and trying to figure things out. But there's no one else in that room with like the same mindset as me and like, Okay, what does this mean? Like looking around, like, do I need to go now? Now I'm in this thing called the army like, I think this affects my life. And I laugh now but like as for really, you know, senior year and looking around and people trying to figure that out and my mind's gone a whole nother direction. And so nothing ends up happening. You know, I continue to do my, I mean, in my life, obviously, this shift the entire nation, but I continue to go on with school and nothing really changed in my life. I did go to drill one weekend, a month. Fortunately, I did end up getting in at the same unit as my friend that I mentioned earlier. So we would carpool and just started to make relations with the people that I hadn't really spent much time with while I was at basic training and a IIT. And then so drill weekend was getting and I was a part of the debt, which is the detachment and so my unit was actually about two hours away from my hometown, but to accommodate the soldiers and where we lived, one Platoon, about 30 of us went to this town closer and we did our drill together and over half the time, half of the drills, we would load up in the trucks and drive one hour further to the other three platoons three, three or four platoons that were drilling at the main armory. So I did that for my senior year went to a it totally attache, you know, like this got went through senior year and definitely did not maintain morning PT by any means. And then went to IIT, and got out and just was always just sticking with the plan of like, no, I like I cannot take any time to slow down, like it's time to start college and, and so I did in August of 2002. And then, as the spring semester rolled around on Valentine's Day of 2003, I got a phone call right for I was getting ready to go to take a test. And they said that we were getting mobilized, and then I needed to withdraw from school. Let's talk about a good luck on your test call. So I showed up at the class. And it was one of those classes where there is a huge auditorium tons of people. And I usually go to the front, not the very front, but I usually get really close. And I did I went to the back and I got all this stuff going through my head again, here I am, like unlike any other kid in there, and I have so much going through my head trying to I had to reread those questions so many times, and then finally gotten the line to go hand it to the teacher. And I'm pretty sure this is Yeah, in the book and get in the line to hand it to him. And I gave it to him and I said I just got called and got mobilize and told to withdraw and go reports my unit so I'm not sure I won't be here at the next class. And he just looks at me and he snaps up snaps to attention and slowly salutes me and it just made my heart smile and I just got tears in my eyes and tried to fake it and just like thank you and like walked away and I everything was just in through my head. Well, we ended up getting mobilized for a week just to pack our stuff up did not go then they're like, All right. We're on high alert. You guys get to go home. Everybody returns to school but me I withdrew and for whatever reason, I think because of like math grants and Pell Grants because whatever, they wouldn't let me re and they wouldn't let me get back in. So then I was back at my hometown working at Cracker Barrel. And like, here I am. This This didn't turn out the way I expected. And then again, this was all over my paperwork to get to school. And so then I ended up going to a like Community College closer by for the summer. So even though I withdrew in February, by May boom, I was right back at school made it to semester Sirs, made it that summer, did it fall, and then got that call again. This time I got it on Veterans Day, they really just, they nail it with the holidays, they nail it, because not only did they call me and mobilize me for veterans day, the day that we reported was December 7, the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. So and that was we really did go that time. They did not send us home after we pack that time. So December 2003. It's crazy to say out loud since I graduated high school in May 2002. So to say like that I went to Iraq in December 2000. Well, got mobilized. It's still so surreal, which is weird, right? I mean, so like 17 years, but it is still so surreal to say that out loud. I turned 20 and 21. On the deployment.
Amanda Huffman15:59
Yeah, I'm the same age, as you know, so I graduated high school seniors, you so it's really interesting to hear you talk about September 11. And what it meant to you as a senior in high school, and like what it meant to me because I was just like, oh, my goodness, like I was, I wasn't in the military. So it just kind of like rocked my world in from the fact that like it opened up the military to me, I didn't really think about military before that. And for you, you are already in, I loved how you were like, I was the only one in the classroom who was dealing with that. And then when you were taking your test I was you felt so alone. In those situations. at such a young age, you weren't even 20 when you deployed and all these things are happening to you. I deployed when I was 25, I turned 24. I was 24 when I left for my training, and then I was 25. Like most of the deployment, and I told my husband, I feel like the year that I was 25. Like it just doesn't exist. It's like in this weird void and to think about being 20 and 21. So much younger and probably a similar thing where it's kind of like this weird time where you're kind of like obviously your life was happening and and you were experiencing things but it was so different than a normal 20 year old experience.
Jennifer Hobbs17:15
Oh my gosh, she was Yes, absolutely. I can't help but laugh because while other people are spending their 21st birthday, you know, like having an alcoholic beverage. I was standing at parade arrest, getting demoted for having an alcoholic beverage that I wasn't even caught that I like admitted to. And then I realize sometimes it is good to withhold a little bit of honesty. I learned mine that but yeah, totally getting an article 15 so far, my favorite birthday present was a conversation I had with a female Captain or even hire who right after my article 15 counseling meeting called me into her office. And I was like, oh, man, here we go. Scott, the lay into me some more and all this just for being honest. And then that it was the opposite. She was telling me like that she admired me and that women, the military needed more women like me, and that I needed to walk away from what just happen and get all about it, learn from it. Then she shook my hand and gave me her coin. And not only was that my favorite coin most most meaningful coin ever. But it was my 21st birthday present.
Amanda Huffman18:42
I love that story. And I think that's so impactful. It was a hard situation for you and you were expecting to get ringing, then instead, you got the encouragement that you probably really needed in that moment being overseas. And you're like I was honest.
Jennifer Hobbs18:57
Right? Yeah. Or like you said, though, like, if we were to take away those circumstances, like where I was, like, beat down, like mentally and like, emotionally, like, take all that out. Like had it just been a conversation with a powerful, admirable woman to speak those words of encouragement into your right like that would have, but then it made me even more since it just came after him really hard. a hard pill to swallow.
Amanda Huffman19:28
Yeah, and let's talk a little bit about your book, because you mentioned your book, but let's talk about the title and what it is. And I don't want to talk too much about your deployment because I want people to go out and read your book because I really
Jennifer Hobbs19:41
Yeah, well, I love, love, love the title. And I've got to thank my husband for it, because that's where I got the title and I'll tell you that story in a moment. But on that note, I'll just go ahead and I'll thank him for letting me pick his mind more and more that way. I Do the dual memoir and not just do my perspective. But he rocked my socks off that night that he was telling me the night that I got the the title comms. We've had a lot of conversations over the last year where it was just kind of like in not interviews, but like I promise, he knew I pressed record on my phone. And we just talked and talked and talked. And there were so much that I already knew. But I learned so much again, 16 years later. And when he's describing the night that he got hit by a roadside bomb, first thing he recalls is a very bright flashlight and intense heat. So I won't go into too much detail because I want people to read the book and see what happened. But in the end, like getting him out from under the truck, and that was on his face getting out from under the truck that was on his face. I asked him as they were he had been put on a medivac helicopter. And I said, Did you know that starting that works was in the plane as well, like, did you know that he was next to you? And he said, No, I couldn't see him. But I just knew that somebody I knew someone was there because I knew someone I knew was there, because I felt calmed. And for my husband to say that, like, it was so powerful like to hear him say that he felt this spiritual, almost like a spiritual call energy like calmness and say that he felt. And then to say it in that context, like I felt called, I was like, holy cow. And then that was how I got it. And then the story is about, you know, it's not just, I didn't want it, even though it's told from Bill perspectives, and it has Ryan's perspective and my perspective, I really wanted to share the story of my unit and what all they went through. And so that's the trauma there. Like we've gone through a lot of trauma. It's not just the trauma that me, Jennifer used to be, but I miss medic. And then Hobbs, it's not just our trauma. It's the it's the trauma of a family. It's the trauma of the family we had with the 1544. But then, like your husband, it's the trauma that reaches the families back home. And I found that the hardest part I managed to write in this book talking about after the deployment and the war at home. And I just knew that even after I got done, and I got that feedback, and I edited it, and I'm looking at it and I'm like, I'm not doing this justice. This is a whole nother book in itself. And so that's where I'm taking things into, like with a wellness course that I'm doing and I'm wanting to reach the friends and these hidden heroes like, there's, I feel like that's definitely been something that maybe has not been overlooked. But yeah, I mean, overlooked and, and that we haven't given the attention and energy to because what better way to eat, to serve our veterans and give them support than to build up these families and make them aware of different things that a veteran feels or experiences and how to respond to that, how to react to that and like, just have a knowledge and plethora of resources and right down to just coping strategies, you know, and then resources to get them in linewidth. To if that they need Oh, so it makes me so I get so passionate about it, which is why I actually just resigned from 12 years of teaching because this is what I really I want to keep writing more and reading more complete book nerd over here. So super excited about that. But I want to help other veterans tell stories. I want to hear a lot more stories. Once I get done recording my audio book, read my own book, I want to start a podcast myself and I wanted to I want to bring in those hidden heroes, families and friends but also do veterans and so how cool would it be like you know, talking to like Amanda hearing her story of her deployment and this and then have your husband on and talk about oh, you know, like and so I've already had started having conversations with people where I was talking to like one of those wives that was home. And so that's I, I hope that I can help veterans by starting with their friends and family.
Amanda Huffman25:10
Yeah, and I, I really like that you included two perspectives. And like it did give a fuller picture of the unit because things that you didn't experience and your husband experienced. And it just kind of brought full circle even when he talked about going home, like during r&r, and then you talked about what it was like to still be there and him not to be there. I think that was like something where a lot of times when someone writes a memoir, and they go on r&r, you don't hear about what's happening, because they're not there. And so like, they miss the experiences of the deployment for the time that they're out, because they're going home to see their family and friends. And so I really enjoyed it. I told you before we started this interview, I started reading it on the airplane, flying home from LA and I finished it as we were taxiing because I couldn't put it down. So I really enjoyed it. And I think people should go out and get it. And I did a review on my blog. So I'll link to that in the show notes.
Jennifer Hobbs26:08
Thank you. And you know, that has been so exciting and humbling Amanda that like a lot of people have said, like that they knocked it out like that they read it couldn't put it down and read it so quickly. And then it was a nice like easy read, it's a nice easy to follow other than you need to know folks that it's dual memoirs, it was about this story that I was trying to put on paper and started to 16 years ago more as a coping mechanism. And just this amazing unit and people and family I've served with it was about that. And so to put that story out there and just shed a little bit of understanding or even for people that are military families and and they understand no more than maybe some people do like just to let them remember that like you can relate to other people, other people got these things going on. And this continues a lifetime of post traumatic growth. Because there always be that PTSD that post traumatic stress disorder. But let's focus on post traumatic growth.
Amanda Huffman27:17
Yeah, and people can read more of your transition experience, I don't really want to dive into it. Because I just love Why you wrote it and you explained it. I think it does a really good job. And we don't have enough time to go on all they got to read it. But let's talk a little bit about you just said that you retired from teaching and you're going full time in your current passion. And you gave a little bit of a hint of what you're doing. But what was the big determining factor that made you decide that it was time to put teaching aside and start this? Was there something specific inside of you or an event that happened? What made you decide that it was time to make that shift?
Jennifer Hobbs27:56
There was not exactly the event that happened there was an event that happened that got me back to writing about a year and a half ago in February I fainted and I cracked my skull in two places. And then after the really vigorous recovery and like trying to find out what happened and and then finding out what happened and finding out I just found myself in a in a lane place lane. And at the beginning of the summer for teacher leshan via lane place like he should be like summer. And so I knew that I needed to do something for my own self care and set a goal for myself and out of nowhere the thought I'm gonna get back to writing came up so it was then that I sparked that and, and then it just throughout the whole year, it's really just been a process because to be goal driven and a different way. You know, like not just following the plan I always expected I needed to do but to like reach out of that and do like what my heart's calling me to do help veterans and REITs and nerd out on tons of books like that is what was I was feeling called to do but I knew like it wasn't something I could just up and do. And so I I took a lot of time praying about it a lot of self reflection, oh, of self reflection and just weighing out like, okay, like, this is what this will look like, this is what this will look like it just just took a lot of times Think about it. And like I said a lot of prayer and through the mostly the connections that I've made with people over the last year from people on my publishing team and my book coach like having that community of people that just truly wants to build you up empower you and make you successful. That just reminded me of like how good this feels and how much I wanted to be a part of this and then that I wouldn't be able to help other veterans, if I keep working at this and putting my energy into this rather than energy into something else that would take away from my time to where I wouldn't be able to focus on this. And so it was a long time. But then when I knew I knew, and I just I, and I told myself, like, you know, you're gonna feel a lot of doubt coming at you every day, every day. And you need to remember like, that's to be expected.
Amanda Huffman30:30
Yeah, that's really good. I love hearing your passion, I can see it. And I hope that people can hear it. But I can see like how excited you are and how passionate you are. And it just shows like your heart is in it to help other veterans and family members and even people outside the military community who can relate to your story and the work that you're doing. So it's really exciting what you're doing.
Jennifer Hobbs30:53
I think it's really exciting. When people say that same thing to me. I'm Anna, that like, they could just see the passion and feel the passion because because then it just, you know what it reminds me It reminds me of like, and I've really just been I ever really tapped more into like leaning in on God pushing in on God. It reminds me of the grace and blessings that come your way when you're a beating. So like I felt this, I knew I was being called to do this. And even though it was so scary, I was like, Oh, this is that I'm doing it. And so even though it was so scary and fearful and you turn you pass over some things that okay, well, I'm giving this up right now. So that's a little scary. And so then to see all these blessings come my way. And you hear people say that, it just reminds me like, See, I told you, Jennifer, like good job being obedient, because this is where you're supposed to be.
Amanda Huffman31:52
Yeah, that's true. I love that. So let's wrap up this interview with one last question, which is what advice would you give to young women who are considering military service?
Jennifer Hobbs32:03
I would say, a lot of self reflection, a lot. Like really tap into you first like takeaway, if there are other factors coming your way, like say it's I need to figure out how to get to school and have it paid for No, stop that there are so many things out there for you. And do not do not do it because of that. What's happened to it like, Is it because you want to be a leader? And you'd like to do that in a military setting? Is it because you really like the idea of the structure and learning how to be a disciplined, very respectful person that you will then become a mentor to other people, then yes, like, check, if it's a checkmark on those last things, then you follow your heart after you continue to do that self reflection and just really identify what is it that I really want? Because if what you really want is like you'd like to paint and sell paintings, then by golly, you do not let all those different feared factors come your way you figure out how you get paint for life. But if like I said, if it if it's the military and the habit, being a female and wanting to have an effect on other people through a leadership role in a military setting, then Heck yeah. So follow your heart, do that self reflection and find exactly what it is that you think is going to bring you happiness. And that might change down the road. And that's okay, too.
Amanda Huffman33:42
Yeah, that's great advice. Thank you so much for your time and for writing your book calm. I will link to it in the show notes so people can go order it today. And I just want to say thank you for being on podcast and change story. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of women of the military podcast. Do you love all things women in the military podcast become a subscriber so you never miss an episode and consider leaving a review. It really helps people find the podcast and helps the podcast to grow. Are you still listening? You could be a part of the mission of telling the stories of military women by joining me on patreon@patreon.com slash women of the military or you can order my book women of the military on Amazon. Every dollar helps to continue the work I am doing. Are you a business owner? Do you want to get your product or service in front of the women of the military podcast audience get in touch with a woman of the military podcast team to learn more all the links on how you can support women in the military podcasts are located in the show notes. Thanks again for listening and for your support.