Melody went from living in Panama City wishing she could go to college to serving an Army enlistment that continued past her first enlistment and eventually working at the White House Transportation Agency. Melody served in the Army for twenty-four years. She experienced the world through her many different travels both through the military and living overseas. She also has both her college and master's degrees. Today she owns XcelMil Consulting and Coaching where she takes the leadership lessons she learned in the military to help others in their career.
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Check out the full show notes at https://www.airmantomom.com/2021/10/from-army-enlistment-to-the-white-house/
Check out the full transcript here.
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Amanda Huffman00:00
Welcome to Episode 157. This week my guest is Melody Gratic. She went from living in Panama City wishing she could go to college to enlisting into the army. She decided to stay past her first illness meant and eventually ended up working at the White House Transportation Agency. She served in the Army for 24 years. She experienced the world through her many different travels both through the military and living overseas. She also has both her college and master's degree. Today she owns Excel Mel consulting and coaching where she takes the leadership lessons she learned in the military to help others in their career. It's another great episode. So let's get started. You're listening to season three of the women on the military podcast Here you will find the real stories of female service members. I'm Amanda Huffman, I am an Air Force veteran, military spouse and Mom, I created women in the military podcast in 2019. As a place to share the stories of female service members past and present, with the goal of finding the heart of the story while uncovering the triumphs and challenges women face while serving in the military. If you want to be encouraged by the stories of military women and be inspired to change the world. Keep tuned for this latest episode of women on the military. Women of the military podcast would like to thank Sabio coding boot camp for sponsoring this week's episode Sabio coding boot camp is a top ranked coding boot camp that is 100% dedicated to helping smart and highly motivated individuals become exceptional software engineers visit their website at www.sabio.la to learn how you may be able to use your GI Bill benefits to train at savea your tuition and monthly BAH stipend may be paid during your training period. They are also 100% committed and helping you find your first job in tech. So don't forget to head over to www.sabio.la to learn more. And now let's get started with this week's interview. Welcome to the show Melody. I'm so excited to have you here.
Melody Gratic02:25
It is exciting to be here, Amanda and I'm super geeked to just be able to share who I am and share with the military spouses and anyone that's still active in the military. Thanks for having me.
Amanda Huffman02:36
No problem. And a lot of the listeners are women who are looking to join the military. So they'll really appreciate your story because I read your bio, and there's lots of different pieces and interesting parts to it. Let's start with why did you decide to join the military?
Melody Gratic02:50
Well, my name is Melody Greg and I come from Panama City, Florida, where I joined the military. I'm not going to tell my age. But I will say it was decades ago and it was one of the best decisions that I have made. I retired with 24 years of service back in 2013. And it really placed me in a different income bracket much levels, different levels of experience. And so I just highly recommend it as a different alternative pathway for a career
Amanda Huffman03:22
And what specifically drew you into the military? Were you just looking for a new pathway and you felt stuck or what was it that led you to the military
Melody Gratic03:30
I think what really led me to the military was I wanted to travel the world initially is part of it is to serve my country as being a patriot before you know just American standing up for what we believe as the greatest superpower in the earth. While at the same time I also had this global map to like look outside the window of my home when our apartments that we lived in to know that there was more to the world than just Panama City Florida and the military provided me that avenue to get education that my mom could not necessarily afford while I you know while we had the Community College there the local community college it still was out of reach with our income bracket and so the military was going to give me a place you know, time to travel as well as education and along with the medical and the dental benefit. So when I say that it just leveled us up and you know, it provided me discipline I you know, the diversity of thought, as well as being around diverse groups of people.
Amanda Huffman04:29
Yeah, that makes sense. So where did you go to basic and what was that experience like for you?
Melody Gratic04:36
basic training for me was something I'm not sure they still even offer it but Fort Dix, New Jersey. So you can imagine leaving Panama City, Florida going to basic training at Fort Dix, New Jersey, not having traveled that many times out of the state except for Georgia or Alabama, and now going north of the DC area going into New Jersey for the eight weeks of training. It was an interesting change. To see because for again it didn't necessarily snow a lot in Florida at that time although here recently we've seen snow in some different places where there's never been snow with these implemented weather patterns but I tell you it was just an interesting time and again, I had did Air Force ROTC while I was in high school so that afforded me the opportunity to go in as a three or four the army Private First Class and so with that being said, I did not start off as a PD one that a three rank placed me in responsible position even at a young age I was like, okay, you're going to be the squad leader or the supervisor or manager over other women that were joining so that was definitely a tough eight weeks for me because I didn't just get to just be a service member just entering the service. I was also a leader even back then.
Amanda Huffman05:52
Yeah, Annie Brock was on the podcast earlier this year and she was the highest ranking in her position and she talks about this how she was the one who had to hold the door open and then she had to eat really fast and then she had to like be the first one out and she was like it wasn't the same type of experience as everyone else because she was the leader and there was a lot more responsibility so it sounds like you were very similar to her story.
Melody Gratic06:14
Definitely it's a similar I mean you are responsible so it's not that we're playing like a surrogate mother position when you're in leadership although it takes on some of those different components the other aspect is that you are trying to navigate basic training yourself and get over some of the areas like for me it was the weapon it was you know firing, firing the M 16 and everything like that. So while you're learning to do that, you're also responsible Okay, did you you know, check in on your parents did you call back home Did you receive any mail and that time it was direct mail, the way we get letters in the mail now, you know, but again, it's interesting, the dynamic is different because everyone has cell phones and tablets. I'm not even sure they still allow that in basic training, but at that point, they took away like little pagers at that time we had pagers, so that dates me a little bit that we had the pages and they will take that away from you so that you didn't have contact so you can really focus in on really training and getting acclimated to the army culture as well as whether it be enforcement read or maybe it was you had to get acclimated to serving our nation, whether it whichever joint service that you were in, even if it was costar,
Amanda Huffman07:26
Yeah, when I went to Basic, we had cell phones and they took them away for the whole time I've heard because of COVID. They've kind of sometimes they've changed the rules a little bit just because of the pandemic environment. But I need to do more research on what it is right now. I just heard a rumor that they had changed the rules around COVID. But I think it was about like staying connected to your family as like a pandemic is happening and not so you could talk on your phone whenever you wanted. So as a different type of thing. I still think they want your to have that complete focus. And let's talk about your career. It sounds like from the very beginning, you started out as a leader. So let's talk about your first few assignments.
Melody Gratic08:04
Okay, my first few assignments were unique assignments because I was actually in the medical field as a patient administration specialist, which has a different specialty code now than it had before but I will say going to San Antonio for again similar climate, you know with humidity and whatever as for but that was interesting eight weeks over at Fort San Antonio so is now Joint Base San Antonio. And so as I went there I went from San Antonio, my very first duty station was Fort Meade, Maryland. And you know, it's kind of nostalgic, but I actually ended up back in this area 20 years later or several times because I came back to this area a couple of times but for me it was my first assignment and it was exactly two years I want to say two or three years to the date and then from Fort Meade at that time we could change out our orders so I switched orders with someone that was going to Italy because he decided to go to Italy and I wanted to go someplace different but I still ended up going to Italy but not in that same capacity as I would have when I had I taken those orders and so I switched orders with him I ended up from there to Seoul Korea from Korea over to Fort Bliss so I've had some really I had really great assignments when it came to special duty assignments as well as just this Uncharted pathway and so I stay especially as a patient administration specialists for several years try to get promoted you know maxing out on college courses like going through get my associate's degree kind of always was working on you know, my education, PT, you know, physical fitness and firing a weapon. And the other aspect was like okay, what do I do next? Well, we have plateaued at how many points you could get and if you were not 900 and some points or above, you weren't going to get promoted to E five. So I switched military occupational specialties. I actually transitioned over into transportation and literally I got my e five with you know that my e cig. And literally went from like a two year period of catching back up to where I should have been at in the military under 10 years. And so I went from that. And then I ended up over Newport News at Fort Eustis. And so I really had some great assignments and from uses, I went overseas and stayed overseas for from Germany to Belgium for like several years straight. So I did a concert consecutive overseas tour.
Amanda Huffman10:24
So you kind of got stuck in the career field that you were in where you could only promote so quickly because there were only so many spots. And so it was better for you to transfer out of that career field and into a new one. And then you're able to catch up pretty quickly. I've heard a lot of people talk about that.
Melody Gratic10:40
And it's just like, you could be doing everything right. And so I would definitely want to encourage anyone that is considering going coming into the military already in the military, it is okay, what we call on the civilian side, now that I'm a business owner, it is okay to pivot, even while you're in the military, you know, you may want to do something different, you may start off in a human resource fill. And now you might want to go into cyber security field because you're looking long range at what do you do when you exit the military, whether you exit with four years served, five years served, or 10 years served, I continued to stay because I saw the benefits, I started, you know, I had these dynamic relationships with my fellow service members, you know, and so with that within reach, and that I was, I knew I was going to get close to making a seventh start first class I state and then you know, the doors just open for the assignment of support, you know, NATO, you know, over in Brussels, and then the assignment came about for the nomination to the White House Transportation Agency. And you know, having come from humble, very humble beginnings, and Panama City, Florida, to this Wow, opportunity to serve at the Firehouse transportation agency with a top secret clearance was like a dream come true. And then that just allowed me to even further travel the world and see places that you know, I watch these game shows, which I used to do as a young girl. And as I watch these game shows these people when these exotic vacations to Paris, to London, and to all of those places, and it's kind of being in a unique position, when you can travel to those places in the military, you know, not necessarily paying so much out of pocket, but they are paying you to go and you're getting some per diem behind it. So the travel to me was just, you know, I had a wonderful career to say the least I did deploy. And that was one, one chapter of my career, which I mean, that's part of it is that you deploy. But if you have a great team, and you all have a train together, there are definitely some tragedies and atrocities that are, you know, just heart wrenching. But while at the same time, you get to be a part of something bigger than yourself. And so to me, that was the larger picture of being part of something bigger, that's having an impact in our nation in other nations that you really get to see how privileged we are in the United States.
Amanda Huffman13:04
Yeah, that's for sure. let's backtrack a little bit and talk about what was it like to be you said you did two tours back to back overseas.
Melody Gratic13:12
I did Seoul Korea, but that came back from Seoul but but I was back to back from graphic fair, Germany to Belgium, it was three years at the academy as an instructor to students and we're again, going through training to become an E five. So it's just you're continually learning. And it's always about professional development. And so as we go through these technical and you know, technical training, leadership training, it probably just propels us forward. So being an instructor facilitator is kind of kind of the flip side, because that's part of my business now is leadership development and training, that I've always been invested in career progression and career development, because it's the catalyst for change. And so within that I did three years there, and from graph and beer, one of the unique things about being overseas that she had was virgin air, Ryan air and these different services or the train where you could just leave on a weekend or the MW or the morale welfare trips, and you could travel to these exotic castles in these places that you read about on a brochure, and you can actually go there for the weekend and you know, send stuff back to your family from those places to say, not only did you just hear about it, but you actually visited that castle, or you actually went and did a tour or votes March or you know, enjoying the German cuisine and going to just the different fall festivals and everything. So you know, Germany's like right there where you could get to the Rhine river boat ride, you could go down to go skiing, you know, it was just one of those great places to take advantage of if you're overseas or get the opportunity to get stationed in Germany.
Amanda Huffman14:52
Yeah, that sounds really cool. And then you said you worked for NATO. That sounds like a really cool job.
Melody Gratic14:57
We actually at the Brussels installation is Due to work it was at that particular time I had to do my research. It used to be United States Army Garrison Brussels, and we actually was a hub that was downtown. Of course, I didn't know what that location was a separate people that were assigned there. But we used to support NATO North Atlantic Treaty Organization as supporting the North ignited trading organization consisted of, you know, you had the Secretary of State come over there, you had different dignitaries from the Pentagon come and you know, support these different large events that you kind of see on the news, like, you know, these different sommets that are held in these different places, and being a part of that team that supported that in the community, because again, we were joint forces, so you had Air Force, Navy, Marines, and army there supporting and then you had some, again, we had different NATO troops, they were wearing civilian clothes, but on the weekends, they serve in their different capacities. And you got to work with local nationals that spoke either Flemish or French, or combination of German and everything. So it was an interesting assignment. And again, why I say it's interesting is because you get to understand different cultures, and we worked, you know, hard, you know, not 540 5060 to 80 hours sometimes, whereas other cultures don't work to that same degree, they just have a different flow of work. And sometimes it could be four days a week, sometimes it's like, right at 3035. And being a supervisor and a manager in that capacity around them, you have to understand their policies, or understand them memorandum of agreement with our country, and you have to comply with their policies. And so when they say they have to leave at three o'clock in the afternoon, they're checking out at 3pm in the afternoon, and you have to respect and regard that. So it definitely shows you a different dynamic of what other countries consider, you know, work and it does not impact their performance work.
Amanda Huffman17:01
Yeah, it's really interesting. And you started talking about, like, the different cultures. And you also said, You deployed so I'm sure you got to see a different culture and that experience, where did you deploy to? And what was that experience, like,
Melody Gratic17:14
I deployed to Operation Desert Storm that kind of does date me. So that was the Gulf War. That was right after again, I was at Fort Meade, I want to say after that deployment, I was around the fort meet timeframe. So I deployed then, and being in, you know, a rack over there, Saudi Arabia was different, and I was still young, I was still under 25. At that time. So I will say that part I was young and but the good thing about it is all of the training that we did together prior to our deployment, you know, the different mock postures, the mission, you know, the postures that we had to be in with our chemical suits, you know, being able to wear them for extended amounts of hours, and trusting your team member, trusting that person is to your right or to your left is in the foxhole with you, I wasn't scared in the sense of a fear scared, my concern has always been for other people. It's always been about serving others, and a capacity of how can I encourage, how can I inspire, that's what again, the essence of the word leadership. However, it was always looking out for the other people while maintaining safety and vigilance and taking what we did seriously because, you know, run into the bunker, and you got the mortar rounds coming, you know, you're running to the bunker, and you're having to have all your gear on. And then at the same time, you're having to triage patients, you're trying to, you're having a deacon and you know, you're having to jump sites. And so basically, you're so well trained, and so well positioned to do what you do that there is that moment to kind of respond. But your response becomes, again, we're operating from muscle memory. So it becomes automatic that you know, we don't panic, we just respond, react and get to safety. Are we responding and we you know, continue with our mission that's in front of us, like being so laser focused, that it's like how do you function when you function in it because you're trying, it's only when we deploy back and after so many years that you actually process what you actually experienced and saw because it was happening right in front of you, this person is amputated, this person just died like right in front of you, this person is bleeding all over and you are responding and treating, but then when you step back from that posture of that rapid posture, then you process the hurt you process that you know, because I still say to this day, it is not normal for human beings to see that volume of death on a consistent basis and still be normal. Hence the word why we have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder now because we've been exposed to so much that you know, you may watch it on TV and film. It's just a movie or a game. But in real life, it desensitizes you to an extent because you're still carrying on with the mission. But afterwards, it's when you process the reality. And it's just so raw, because is it happening and it's happening every single day, throughout the day. So you function, it's kind of like functioning and dysfunction.
Amanda Huffman20:22
Yeah, that's a really good way to talk about it. And I think one of the hardest parts of like coming home from war is you've been functioning and you're surviving. And so you're like, I don't need to think about those feelings and all the things that happened. And so you're like, I'll just push forward. But you do really need to process all that stuff that you saw. And it's kind of like a training mode that you go into to get through it. But eventually, you need to work through those feelings. And a lot of times, soldiers, we're just not as good at doing that, because we're just like, get the mission done. And then we're like, and forget about it. And
Melody Gratic20:56
I want to put this plug in because it is National Suicide Prevention Month, this month. So it's just really important for everyone that's listening to know that it's National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and one of the things that I learned a valuable lesson learned is that as I was transitioning out kind of dating myself here is that it became Okay, and I'm going to put this out there this plug in, it is okay to sit on the couch and talk about it with a therapist. If you are contemplating suicide, if you've thought about it, if you journal, if you kind of sit in your room and try to drink the problem away, or the memory away. It is now okay to talk to someone and get help. There's a National Suicide Prevention website, they have phone numbers that you can call to protect your identity and to share what you are feeling. Reach out, contact somebody, let somebody know that you are hurting this image, these flashbacks that you're having is like a panoramic. It's like a movie that's just playing over and over, or you're hearing voices, it is National Suicide Prevention Month, contact someone throughout the plethora of resources that Amanda I'm sure has on her site, as well as other individuals that can point you to get the help is no longer going to impact your security clearance, it's no longer going to impact your promotion, get the help you need. Yeah, and I
Amanda Huffman22:25
have been going through therapy with the Coen veterans network, the last, I guess, 10 weeks or so I'm almost at the end of the sessions. And it's been really helpful for processing so many different aspects. And I kind of knew I needed therapy for a while, but I kept hitting roadblocks and luckily, with con veterans network, I was able to get help and get therapy and it's been life changing. I have so many more tools on dealing with some of the things that I dealt with while deployed, I'm going to put the resources that you mentioned and I'll link to Cohen veterans network in the show notes so that people can find them. But it's so important if you're struggling to reach out and the Suicide Prevention line is definitely a really great resource.
Melody Gratic23:09
I'm so glad that you are receiving the assistance this available to veterans in many cases, whether you are going through the VA or try care it's a nominal fee if it's through try care if it's through the vets, you know, it could be free, there are some services that are totally free of charge. I think now it is time for us to really you know, it was always about taking care of our battle buddy. But even now I still reach back I talked to someone that I had known from Fort Bliss 30 some years ago, and just reaching out and checking in on her as a vet because we're a different tears in our career paths post military life, and it's still important, the veteran community is still very important to be a part of to be plugged into so you can actually get on the phone and I don't care if it's a five minute conversation or a three minute conversation just to let people know that you're okay and not just you know, under that cloud of depression and just trying to navigate it yourself. Get the help this out there. There's so many resources that are out there and I was on a vet's call this Saturday, that's to industry. And though that organization is phenomenal, and they are people with resources that can just literally help us to get out of the house. There's the art therapy, the music therapy, there's so many different tools for Vets to utilize to support like a support system.
Amanda Huffman24:35
Yeah, it's so true and we as veterans just have to get involved and the common veteran Network is free program that I'm doing and so there are there's a bunch of free programs invest to industry is a great for transitioning veterans and just networking with veterans. I've done a few of their online events that they've done in the past year. It's just so great, all the stuff that they're doing and the way that they're connected. vets. We are here to talk a little bit about the White House. So I want to go back to your career and talk about your time at the White House because you serve there under both President Bush and Obama, right. So that was like an interesting experience, because you got to experience two different leaders, two different parties in charge in the White House. So what was that experience? Like?
Melody Gratic25:22
I will say the experience for me working at White House transportation agencies, which there are there is the White House military office that I'm not sure a lot of people are aware of. And these are nominated positions to serve, whether it be White House communications ad agency, Whitehouse Transportation Agency, the presidential airlift group, there is the also the, the one that does the food, presidential food services. And that's through the Navy. There are a plethora of organizations to support the movement and logistics and everything that goes into the behind the scenes support for the president of United States, wherever you see the president, there is a host of people supporting this logistical and operation, the logistics, the operations, everything. And when I say that, it could change your career trajectory, post military, because you are in a posture where you're, again, nominated position, you're working around civilians, you're working around contractors, and you're working around fellow service members to include the junior Captain members, senior cabinet members, people that you see that are news correspondents and contributors that are on CNN and Fox, and you are moving about in and around that element, which, you know, we understood that we were statesmen, and we were ambassadors, even as a service member. And so it's just very, it was a rewarding position. Educational, you continue to get your education while you're serving, you continue to prepare yourself for promotion, whether you're going to go back into, you know, a regular unit or not. But again, there's that opportunity to stay within some agencies, then there's that opportunity to go back to a regular unit. But you go back through with a different perspective, because now you've kind of seen what it was not just working in a unit, just this all service members, but now you've worked around some civilians and some independent contractors. And so you get that diversity of thought, that diversity of experience that collective intelligence, and you kind of see from a very high executive level, what goes some of the ins and outs that goes into some of the policymaking that drives the decisions of some of the commanders drive some decisions of like, whether we're going to go to war or not with summit, we're going to some of the outcome of those summits as far as building up these different countries and our support to these third world nations. So you really get a global lens, if you will want how our country supports these other countries and how important these partnerships are. And you're playing a significant role and supporting the president of United States in his particular cabinet and people that are on staff there that some of them have been on staff and certain offices for years and and so it's just a really rewarding position to get to consider as a special duty assignment.
Amanda Huffman28:23
Yeah, it sounds like such a cool experience. And I bet growing up you probably did you even dream that one day you would be working in the White House. Like that's just so cool.
Melody Gratic28:33
Yeah, it was never a dream, Amanda and I laugh and smile about it because people ask me that when I interviewed for jobs, you know, it's like you go from working in this at this executive position, even serving in the capacity that we served and and it's a I mean, when you think about working in that particular tier, you know, supporting that particular tier of government, which is the executive branch of the government, it really postures you differently with your self esteem, your confidence, you know the value of work that you bring to another position afterwards, you're able to articulate who you are differently. So it postures you for I mean, this there are no limits. So it makes you really have a limitless viewpoint on not necessarily putting a cap on what you can achieve beyond that, because that is like a premier position to have and to exit from and have on your resume.
Amanda Huffman29:29
Yeah, sounds really cool. I know that we only hit like a little tiny bit of your career, but I feel like we covered a lot of it thing else from your experience or any memory that you wanted to talk about.
Melody Gratic29:41
I think the biggest takeaway for me with the training the physical, the physical fitness, I mean the myriad of friends I have around the nation and US territories that I can reach out to at any given time. I still am a champion and an advocate for military service in some cases. capacity. One of the things I appreciated about being in Seoul, Korea was the katusa soldiers, the Korean soldiers that worked on us installations and those soldiers served in most male servicemen male service members, but on the Korean side, they serve for an average of two years. And I thought that I'm not advocating that there'll be a draft, I just knew that they, you know, ascertain discipline, you know, a little bit of sense of direction with what they wanted to do with their life, whether they want to stay in the Korean army, or whether they just wanted to do the two years and exit the Korean army, I just thought that was a unique setup of like, at least serving for those two years experienced it. And if you don't like it, you could transition, you know, and I still like when I'm sharing with my nieces and nephews talk about the option of the Army Reserve, the Air National Guard, the Air Force Reserve, you know, so there's different options out there. And I don't want people to pigeonhole themselves, or like into this just one aspect of what they could do with their career. It's like there are myriads of pathways, try the one if it doesn't work, be willing to pivot and try something different.
Amanda Huffman31:11
Yeah, that's so true. And I mean, I have over 150 episodes on the podcast, and every story is different. And every experience is different. And it's all about the choices you make and the different experiences you have, I don't think anyone's career ever follows anyone elses even doing the same job, but you go to different locations, and it just different opportunities open up, and it changes your life. And I think it's interesting that President Biden is considering adding women to the draft and how that'll change the dynamics of the military in the long term,
Melody Gratic31:42
I think it would definitely change the dynamic. And so I am a proponent for you have the linear pathway, which is that one well thought out detail plan that we come up with that you know, and again, definitely write down your goals, I teach that. But the other part is the nonlinear pathway that when there is these different challenges that come about, or obstacles that come about or even opportunities, which I like that word as well, that comes up that takes you off of what you put down on paper. And sometimes, you know, moving the needle a little bit and trying a different pathway can really work out to your advantage. And you know, we don't always see that at the beginning phases of that decision or that decision is made or spelt based off of HR component that actually assigns us the personnel assignment component that assigns us to these different jobs and installations. But I have learned to kind of move past some of those negative experiences that we do tend to have in the military and I don't want to sugarcoat that or make light of that not everyone's military experience was the best or the most pleasant However, there are some times when you do have great leadership, a great team of people that support you, which is your military family. I mean it doesn't absolve some of the negativity but it does make it more manageable for you to continue to keep serving for sure.
Amanda Huffman33:07
So at the 24 year point you decided to transition out of the military what made you decide it was time to leave it was the
Melody Gratic33:17
time to leave the military service at 24 years because as a Sergeant First Class I can only serve up to 26 so I was nearing that anyway and it was okay I'm working on my master's degree now I've already completed my undergrad so now I'm working on my master's degree and as a wife and like okay I have an option to stay a little bit longer but we would again have to leave our area and we wanted to start homesteading It was like time to plant our roots in this Northern Virginia area was trying to plant our roots and my husband and I hadn't had a discussion he was also so we were doing military he retired a year prior to myself in 2012 and I retired a year after so we put together a plan of action of you retire first go out and get the job, I will retire next he was completing his second master's degree and I completed my first and so it was like it was a very strategic approach wealth but without approach to why we accident at the time that we did and said you know, it's time for the next chapter and the next chapter looks very different post military for a host of different veterans and you'll have you did 152 episodes so you've heard every particular angle of someone put that exit looks like post military life looks like for a lot of that. So I want to highlight and say that, you know, have an exit strategy, plan it and then go with your decision, but there is help like I attended the Transition Assistance Program classes. So I took advantage of those resources. We laid everything out. We got everything in place for our wheels and our different, you know, beneficiary In our insurance plan, so we kind of like mapped out what post military life looked like those first five to seven years. And we're actually carrying a lot of that out. Now,
Amanda Huffman35:11
that's awesome that you guys took so much time and like planning and communicating and deciding, like your husband got out a year earlier than you and then you stayed in, and you'd have that stability and that like kind of transition rough time where if you're not to military, you can't really have one person get out and get out. So that's really interesting. And how long were you guys married and on active duty,
Melody Gratic35:36
we got married over in Copenhagen, Denmark, which was a unique face to get married at at the justice of the peace. And then we of course, got married again at our church in Brussels at the time, we got married in 2006. And so now we're at the 15 year mark. And it's just kind of again, one of those surreal events that I've had and just been privileged and honored and extremely blessed to have is getting married overseas, flying the family over there for the wedding, enjoying our honeymoon with the family, which that's another that's another story all by itself that I won't share here. But that was interesting to be able to fly the family over. And then after our wedding, my husband got orders and got again a special assignment here to support a particular program that he is still currently working on as a contractor. And so that was just the dynamic of our experience. Not everyone has that experience. But I will say that having stayed for the full 24 years I was I was that one soldier that would always raise my hand, I'm only going to do a two year reenlistment up until I hit 10. And then after 10, I went ahead and did it for the four Hey, it's just gonna be indefinite, but I was like, Hey, I don't know if I missed their hand. But when I say My life is so much better because I did stay and you know, every some people are being extremely successful with a cybersecurity certificate. And you know, information technology PNP there are some people that are doing extremely well and they didn't have to stay the full 10 or, or 20 years or something, you know, at the time, at one point, they were offering a 15 year retirement. So I've seen some different experiences where people have been extremely successful, and they did not retire. So I do want to make sure that everyone is listening understands that you can be successful, whether you stay the full 20 or whether you stay under 20 it is, again, it's the decisions that you make along the way that can really set you up for success when you exit the military.
Amanda Huffman37:36
That's so true. I did six years so I did not retire and I'm really happy it was a hard it was hard to leave the military and I was I always questioned if it was the right decision in the beginning but it's been long enough that I know that it was the right decision even though it was really hard to make at the time. And I
Melody Gratic37:53
want to speak to that I'm glad you brought that part up. Whether it's six, four or five or 20 leaving the military is like because the military is a microcosm of society it is a community within a community and it's so woven together that it's your family it's like you grow up in it and when you grow up in an organization it does make it difficult to leave because now you're looking at relationships there is that infrastructure there's their support system where you know your promotions your human resource department your how you eat where you live in the dorms you know now they have the dorms versus the barracks for when I grew up and the military so when you leave that infrastructure or shall I say that bubble it is difficult emotionally because now what are those relationships going to look like now that you're not there every day? Will they stay in contact like hey keep in touch well they don't always because everyone lives their individual lives and so they have their lives to navigate the intent is to stay in touch but it doesn't always happen so it's a very difficult emotional experience not only is it just the you know the resources that like you have you know, like okay let me prepare for different resources to come in but it's the aspect of all of the emotional the friendships, the family and so it was like I'm not gonna have that family or being able to go on the installation and enjoy some of those festivals and events that they have on the installation that you just are accustomed to experience the know what Friday night looks like what Saturday and the weekends look like on the installation whereas now you're like okay, I don't have that same infrastructure, you build new relationships. So even though you still have those that you can reach back out to on LinkedIn and in the social media world that we are in and we can we're always just a you know, text or a zoom call away from like our FaceTime away from talking with someone But now you're a civilian, and you build new relationships.
Amanda Huffman40:04
That's so true. I'm still halfway and because my husband's still in, but it still is, it's still quite a transition. And eventually, my husband will retire and then we'll have to go through it all over again. And it'll be a new experience. Well, I
Melody Gratic40:17
am great to hear that you are now the have the official badge as a military spouse. And so you're still part of the military community it but it is still even in that is different. So I really want to salute you and your husband for having served our nation continuing to serve because on this side, what I do as a leadership trainer and consultant to different organizations have went to the Department of Labor for one of their focus groups. One, I'm so pleased that they really have this initiative for military spouses to receive the different training and certification so that they can move from installation to installation with their spouse, and continue to not have to have to start all over each installation. So I'm so pleased that there's those initiatives to keep military spouses employed, just like veterans.
Amanda Huffman41:08
Yeah, so important, because when I transitioned out of the military, none of that was there. And so that was part of the struggle I found in like finding a job because when I transition, I knew we would be moving in a year and then I was gonna have to start over. And so that's part of why I'm a freelancer and podcaster because it gave me the flexibility to just take my computer wherever we moved, and I didn't have to worry about having an office job that then I had to start over but there is there's so much going on in the military spouse unemployment arena that it's so important. So you mentioned your business. Let's talk a little bit about what you're doing today. And
Melody Gratic41:47
one of the things that we're doing at my company, Excel mill, LLC, we are a training solutions provider and we are an executive management consulting firm and our tagline is that we empower people and teams to excel both professionally and personally. And again, leadership training we are advocates for lifelong learning and we do market research as well as executive coaching and so coaching is not necessarily therapy nor is it mentoring coaching is what we ask pointed questions because we believe that you have the answer we believe the answer lies within the person and as we ask these deep questions, thought provoking questions and you know allow that person to sit in a quiet space the answer will surface is in their subconscious and I found myself doing that in the military So the interesting dynamic if you heard about training over at graph and fear Germany and always being in a leadership position I after receiving my master's was in not necessarily the same situation as you Amanda but a unique situation where I could either work for someone else which is the federal government or kind of that's one of the trajectories is you served in the military you can go get a federal job but the other option was you can either go with a motor you know, go in that direction, or you can start your own business and and so I looked at it from a vantage point of all of these years of experience working in the client, you know, the different tiers of government and supporting you know NATO's supporting the president seeing that we have something to offer small, midsize and large organizations was let's pull together other peers that have industry experience. And let's offer this leadership training, cultivating lifelong learners where people can advance their careers, take the necessary courses, whether they're on demand courses that are micro or our and they can take these different courses or certifications, and upskill so that they can again, have a living not just a living wage, but earn a salary that reflects and represents their level of knowledge, skills and experience. So it's my passion to see people advanced from middle management all the way up into the C suite, if not be on a board of directors and really for them to identify their strengths, identify the skills like there's like now there's this we are really championing soft skills there's this in the industry soft skills is one of the number one skills that will be needed post 2025 and beyond. So yes, the hard skills are still a requirement for some industries. But most companies are also looking for people that have the soft skills and we offer that at Excel mill LLC.
Amanda Huffman44:30
That sounds great. And once you become a business owner and you have like that control over your life, it's stressful. It's challenging, and it's not like it's a walk in the park. It's something about it. It's so gratifying and I just love being able to work for myself and and change the world through the work that I'm doing. And it sounds like you're doing the same thing.
Melody Gratic44:49
I like that was not a walk in the park as it's not for the faint of heart. And you know a lot of what we've learned through some of our military experience as far as the self discipline, we Just on our website, have a blog and an E book on self leadership, we're now going to start talking about multiple generations in the workforce. What we find as business owners, whether you are intrapreneur, which means you're thinking about going into business, or you are a full fledge entrepreneur or a freelancer. Again, research shows that after 2025, the majority of the workforce is going to be freelancers. You can go on any freelance website, just Google it, and you will find people that are extremely talented, that are offering their expertise as freelancers because it's a way to, again have another stream of income, while at the same time it's giving people that flexibility to not have to if they don't want to work a nine to five, they now have an option to work on their passion and and their passion. And so I have a couple people that I've outsourced from different websites that support our company, it just gives you options. And you actually get to really apply some of the disciplines you learn from time management, to your scheduling. Even with this, this is two o'clock in the afternoon that you hosted this, but there was some logistical stuff that went behind, as well as administrative stuff that went behind the scenes to make this podcast possible.
Amanda Huffman46:21
This has been a really great interview, and we're almost out of time. So I want to ask my last question, which is what advice would you give to young women who are considering joining the military?
Melody Gratic46:32
That is a great question. I will tell every woman that is thinking about joining the military, I would say make a conscious decision that you can live with and not regret.
Amanda Huffman46:45
I really like that because I think that is one of the things I'm working on a book that is on the topic of women joining the military. And that's one of the things that I say in 10 years, if you're going to look back, should I join the military? And you think back and say I really wish I would have been that that kind of helps you find your answer. There's still a lot more internal work in the pros and cons and your life situation. But I think that's a really good gut check to tell you if you're like in the middle on where to go. So I love that it's
Melody Gratic47:18
and I'm a proponent. And one last final thing, Amanda, I am a proponent for now at this particular juncture in our life, and it's like looking back in hindsight, but really sometimes it's okay to get advice from friends and family to see what their perspective is on a situation. But also, again, sit quietly with yourself and make the decision because if you have if someone's living their life through you vicariously you will make a decision that you will later regret. So my best advice, stay quiet with yourself and make the decision.
Amanda Huffman47:54
That's great advice. Thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate having this conversation.
Melody Gratic48:00
thank you for having me, Amanda and I really appreciate you offering the opportunity.
Amanda Huffman48:09
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