This week, I'm celebrating 100 podcast episodes with women in the military. I pulled some of the pieces of military advice for young women from my guests. And make sure if you are considering military service to take time to listen to the stories shared on the podcast. Women have been serving for generations and have so much advice to help make service for the next generation even better.
Here are all the women who shared their advice. Check out the transcript for the full audio track.
Cynthia Cline – Episode 3 03:06
Mandy Snell – Episode 6 05:35
Shakeia Kegler – Episode 9 06:34
Annette Whittenberger – Episode 11 07:07
Suzie Wilcox – Episode 12 07:58
Katrina Moon – Episode 15 09:20
Tammy Bartlet – Episode 21 10:01
Lacy Langford – Episode 22 10:30
Pam Chavez – Episode 23 11:22
Linsey Daley – Episode 26 12:13
Natalie Olivero - Episode 27 12:41
Kelly Rodriquez – Episode 30 13:20
Vanessa King – Episode 31 14:59
Kerry Karwan – Episode 36 16:35.
Jasmin Hurley – Episode 38 19:20
Honorable Deborah James – Episode 40 21:45
Katie Horgan – Episode 51 22:59
Angela Tormey – Episode 63 24:10
Samantha Glassman – Episode 62 25:17
Nicole Terwey – Episode 56 26:42
Gen Wilma Vaught – Episode 65 28:00
Lesley Lykins – Episode 67 29:35
Gwendolyn Jules – Episode 85 32:03
Richelle Futch – Episode 86 32:55
Laura Colbert – Episode 87 34:05.
Kim Sciutto-Bailey Episode 90 35:43
Nicole Malachowski – Episode 93 36:51
Ashleigh Magee – Episode 98 37:31
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Amanda Huffman 00:00
Welcome to Episode 100 of the women on the military podcast this week, I'm celebrating 100 podcast episodes with women in the military. I can't believe it's already been 100 episodes, and I can't wait to share all the episodes that I already have recorded. That'll go into next year and beyond. This has been an adventure that I never expected to grow the way it did. And I have loved every interview that I've had the opportunity to do. And all the men and women who have supported me in this podcasting journey has just made it an incredible joy to be able to share the stories of military women. So, this week, I decided instead of doing an interview, I would gather together the advice I've received for military women. When I asked the question, what advice would you give to young woman considering joining the military, and my original plan was to include all the episodes of advice, but then I realized after collecting all those episodes of advice, that it would be the longest podcast ever. So, I decided that I would pick a few at random because they were also good, it was hard to pick favorites, and I'm gathering them here together for this episode to celebrate the 100th podcast episode. And hopefully, at the end of the year, I will do another roundup of the same podcast to celebrate the end of 2020. And to hear more advice from military woman. So, I really hope you enjoy this episode. I love getting to re listen to the different advice from women. And just thank you for all the support along the way. So, let's get started. You're listening to the women of the military podcast where we share the stories of female servicemembers and how the military touch their lives. I'm Amanda Huffman, I'm an Air Force veteran author of women of the military and a collaborative author of brave women strong faith. I am also a military spouse and Mom, I created women of the military podcast as a place to share stories of military women past and present with a goal of finding the heart of the story while uncovering the triumphs and challenges women face while serving in the military. If you want to be encouraged by the stories of military woman, and be inspired to change the world, keep tuned for this latest episode of women of the military. I collected the advice of military woman and have put them together on the podcast. If you're looking for more information about who shared each quote, you can go head over to airman to mom calm and find the blog post written for this podcast episode. You can also check out the show notes where it will have all the women who have spoken their advice, and what episode they were featured in. So, I hope you enjoy this episode. I really love creating it for you.
Cynthia Cline – Episode 3 03:06
The first thing I would say is the military is a great opportunity. I've definitely learned a lot and it's definitely challenged me and I think I'm a better wife, a better mother, a better sister, a better daughter because of it, too. This is probably one of my biggest like pet peeves of women in the military. But I would tell them not to change themselves to fit the mold, but to embrace their femininity. All too often we see these generals who look like men, they don't wear makeup, they don't wear jewelry. And it's just like, you don't have to be a man to be successful. Now, if that's your thing, if you don't like makeup, more power to you. But I don't think that we should just hide all that means to be a woman for the sake of well, if I want to succeed, I can't wear pink or I can't carry a purse. And that's not the truth. When I see women in power who embrace that, to me, it just, it just shows how strong they are and how confident in their skin they are. That kind of goes to my third thing where you don't need to be a man to succeed. Men and women are very different. And I think you can embrace those differences, whether it's your passion, I think women are a little more emotional, just based off of our hormones. A wit that means I tend to be more passionate when it comes to taking care of my airman. And so, I can use that to a benefit. I recognize the limitations but instead of allowing that to hold me back, I use that to take care of my folks and to highlight myself amongst my peers. I definitely think like you don't need to be a man, you can be a woman, you can be a successful woman in the military, I would just say take advantage of those differences. So, whether it's your being more emotional, whether it's you just tend to care more about people those differences. We can definitely just we can we can use that to our advantage and the Air Force needs diversity and they need women. And I would say don't worry about work life balance because it doesn't exist. It's a myth, it's kind of like one moment work is going to get, you know, 90%, home is going to get 10%. But then other moments, it's going to shift. And so, at the end of the day, you can give it a shot. And if it doesn't work out, you're not a failure, because you've only served four or five years, that's the biggest thing is that some people feel like if I have to do what I have to command, I have to do 20 years. And that's not the case, the Air Force doesn't need people to stay in for 24 years, you know, they need people that are only in for five years, or 10 years. And so instead of feeling like you're a failure, it's like, Hey, you can still serve your country, and you've still done more than most of the United States has. So
Mandy Snell – Episode 6 05:35
I think if anything else, I would say, don't sign up for anything, without having somebody there with you. It's very important. If nothing else, to have a mentor in place, I wish that I had recognized the significance of having a mentor earlier on and not just like, you know, you can have men that are mentors, and I did have some men that provided some very good career advice and guidance points that I really needed it. But it would have been helpful to me to also have reached out a little more practically to other women. And I think now that time has kind of gone on. And there are there are more women out there, and they've had different career paths, it is really important, I think I would have not struggled as much. I probably had better success in my career as a whole had I reached out to other people for advice, even though I felt like I didn't, you know, maybe I thought I didn't need it. But I actually did, I didn't recognize it. So, I think if nothing else, kind of recognizing that even if you don't feel like you need help, you know, advice is always something you can take or leave, you might as well get it if you can, I think that would be like my takeaway.
Shakeia Kegler – Episode 9 06:34
Make sure that you're doing it for the right reasons, your reason for joining is strong enough to keep you to stay, because it's not easy. And that's anything with life, you know, it's not easy. So, you need to be able to stay focused, you need to be able to stay motivated throughout this process. So that way, you know, when you get in, it's So, no surprise and you know, you're not on the fence about if you want to get out two years into your five year contract, I would say make sure the reason that you're joining is strong enough to keep you there.
Annette Whittenberger – Episode 11 07:07
I will say you can do it. I've heard many people say I don't know how you did it, there's no way I could that was so me 19 years ago, I didn't join at 17 or 18. I joined when I was 22. But I did not grow up in a military family at all, I think my grandfather, but I never met him. So, I didn't even know he was in the army till later. I didn't grow up in that. And so, I had no idea what I was doing. I was just like that, let me try it. But you could totally do it. If you want to do it, you could do it just have the mindset and never let anybody make you feel like you can't do it. Because look at those females in the Ranger battalion or, you know, getting the tabs holy crap. I don't think I can do that now. But they did it because they went in there and they're doing it for themselves. Don't feel like you have to prove it to anybody just do it for you. Your time you don't have to do 20 do as long as you want in. It's all up to you. It's for you, not for anybody else.
Suzie Wilcox – Episode 12 07:58
Think if your heart isn't it, go for it. But I really do think it's important to cater your personality to the branch. You know, write down your pros and cons figure out what you want out of this. And if it's you have something to prove, okay, Marine Corps all the way I get it. But, you know, unless it's that I tend to push women toward the Air Force, sorry, Marines out there. But my sister had such a good experience. I just feel like I don't know, they there's it's just a different Echelon. I'm not saying it's better than the Marine Corps because it was right for me, the Marine Corps was and out there. It's right for other females. But I do feel like the Air Force is friendlier. I can't speak for the army Navy's pretty good, too. I my stepdaughter is interested in the Navy. And I'm fully supportive of that she wants to go into the medical field. So that makes sense. Maybe makes sense. So yeah, it just depends on your personality. But overall, I'm all for it. It teaches you something that nothing else can out there, the military will build you up in a way that nothing else can in my opinion. So, I'm very pro-females in the military. It just caters your personality to your branch. That's the only advice I would give.
Katrina Moon – Episode 15 09:20
I think that if you have this calling that it's a gift, it is going to be hard. It's going to be challenging, and it's going to frustrate you. And it's going to ask a lot of you. But it is still a gift and a privilege, being part of a team, working together, working for something beyond yourself and testing your limit. All of those things are not only going to better the nation as you serve but they're also going to better you and increase your own self-worth your own resiliency beyond what you thought. So, I think that
the United States will be better for your service. But so, will you.
Tammy Bartlet – Episode 21 10:01
So, I would tell girls to be prepared to serve unselfishly, but the military is a 24/365 type of job. And that you will be held to a higher standard from even when you are active duty serving, when you're on leave, or Liberty, and I feel you have to search yourself deeply, if you're able to serve that way, not everyone can, not everyone does. But I feel to do the military due diligence that you would have to consider serving in that direction.
Lacy Langford – Episode 22 10:30
I would tell them to first and foremost do their research, you definitely want to understand all of the services and the military, what they do, what their mission is, to understand what your quality of life will be in the job you'll be doing. And the environment you'll be doing it in, and then pair that up with knowing who you are, you know, if you know, you're not a swimmer, don't join the Navy, you know, if you if you want to, if you don't want to get thrown into the water, then don't join the Navy, but also to like, if you know that you're looking for a more a computer job, you know, you're going to have to test higher for that possibly the Air Force or Navy. So, you definitely want to have a full understanding of the services and understanding of what you're looking for, to get out of the military. And then I would say just do it, you know, do it with confidence. And it may be scary in the beginning, but it's going to keep getting better and better. And you'll continue to improve and learn a whole different skill sets and be making money while you do it.
Pam Chavez – Episode 23 11:22
I would say, you know, just weigh all of your options. And if it is the best thing to do, then do it. You know, I just heard somebody saying the other day like, Oh, you know, we would absolutely not let our you know, relative join, like we going to completely discouraged them from it. And I like I just didn't get it. You know, it absolutely helped me out so much in the situation that I was I have a college degree. Now. I've got my family, which I had no idea about what's going to happen from it, too. You just never know where life is going to take you. So, I absolutely see the benefit. I would not you know, my So, boys are free to choose whatever path they want. I wouldn't push them or discourage them from doing it. But there are absolute benefits in it completely
Linsey Daley – Episode 26 12:13
I would tell them to go for it. It was a great experience. I mean, yes, I had a very traumatic experience in the military. But it obviously did not, you know, paint the picture for my entire career, I would probably just say, don't be too naive, because the military does do a good job of telling you that everyone's your brother and sister and we trust everyone. And you know, and they want that for everyone. But that's not the case all the time. So, go for it's a great experience.
Natalie Olivero - Episode 27 12:41
Girl, go to let anybody tell you, you can't do it. Because if I can do it, anybody can do it. And you have more power and talent and capability than you ever thought possible. And there will be moments where people will push you to your breaking point. But you will not break. You will be stronger and better and smarter than you ever imagined. So, don't let anybody hold you back. Don't let anybody ever tell you So, can't and just go for it.
Kelly Rodriquez – Episode 30 13:20
I think the same thing I would tell anybody let me preface my answer. If I can't, I was very blessed. We talked we talked about Desert Storm real briefly before I had to Desert Storm veterans as my first two female and CEOs when I got to my unit in Germany and they lived in their track vehicle for however long they were there was at the end of being almost I think two months they taught me your soldier, not a female soldier, your soldier do your job you do it? Well, you do. You know you do everything that you're capable of doing. And that's what I would let anybody know you're joining the military, it is disciplined. It is rigorous. It's not easy. And it's not supposed to be easy, but it is the most rewarding thing I think you'll ever get. And that's what I that's what I would tell people it is an education you cannot receive anywhere else. I learned more about myself in my eight weeks of basic training. I think then that I probably learned you know, in the past five years, I learned what I was capable of I learned my strengths and weaknesses. I learned teamwork. I learned how to just follow orders, which is a pretty good skill to have. But I would just let people know if I was speaking directly to females just don't ask for special treatment ever understand. It's hard. It's supposed to be hard. You work hard you prove yourself that's all you can ask for and you're going to be seen as exactly what you what you are you know you're if you're good soldier, you're going to be your good soldier, if you see a problem address it but everything that happens that you don't like isn't a problem. Really. I mean, that's the way it should be. And that's usually how it is if you're if you're meeting the standard, you're following regulations and you're going to be okay if you're exceeding the standards, you're going to be awesome. But that's it is work hard, pay attention and understand it's not easy.
Vanessa King – Episode 31 14:59
I think Biggest thing is just to be true to yourself, you know, obviously, when you go through basic or when you go through field training, they're going to break you down and then build you back up. But through that process, still stay true to your personality, you know, learn those leadership skills, learn how to how to be a good leader, and just stick to your guns, because I feel like a lot of people automatically see you as a woman and think you're weaker. And that honestly really annoyed me a lot of the time. Because, I mean, I'm also pretty soft spoken and unassuming, but I can get real fired up. I remember one time one of my Airmen was being blamed for something that was not his fault. And for some reason or another, one of our leadership, you know, was just giving him a really hard time about it. So, I like, drove them into my office, I was like, excuse me, sir, you know, with all due respect is not this individual’s fault, you know, he had nothing to do with this situation, blah, blah. And I was told later, that individual was very surprised, since I'm usually, you know, pretty reserved and safe by spark for when it's necessary. But I feel like a lot of you know, if your people assume that if you're an officer, especially, you know, like, Oh, she's super type A, she knows loud are very, you know, in your face, but I don't feel like you have to be that way to be a great leader or be a great officer. So, if you're not, you know, don't try to become someone you're not because you're going to be exhausted. And I was exhausted by the end of each day, because I tried for so long to be someone different. Yeah, just be true to yourself, and your skills will shine through.
Kerry Karwan – Episode 36 16:35
And I think just people no matter what service they join, to educate themselves on what it is the service does the pros and cons of it, and just know that when you raise your right hand and give your life to that service, that's kind of exactly what they think. And you may not end up dying, serving your country, but your life is no longer your own. And I didn't understand that necessarily. When I joined at 17. And then 24 years later, I realized that that's what happened. It felt like a bad divorce when I left the Coast Guard, because of the way I was retired, was like a divorce where I was abused in the relationship and then didn't realize it. And the only thing I got out of our separation was my freedom. So yeah, I wish I could say more positive things. And the best thing was my shipmates and some of the experiences I had, but the overall politics and rely of this organization that I dedicated my life to for almost a quarter of a century was shameful, and how I was treated on the way out the door. And I know that things change over time. But And granted, maybe I'm not the best person to be giving advice, because the way I did business didn't ultimately, result. I mean, I had honorable service, but I didn't get the career I wanted out of it. But ultimately, you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror, and I am proud of who I am. And I'm proud of what I've done. And I don't have a problem with my contribution, I have a problem with how I was treated. But that's another thing. So, we are women be proud of being a woman know that you don't have to lose your identity in order to serve and be the best version of you that you can. And it's okay to. And we are different that men don't have the same piping we do we you know, we do give birth to babies, we, you know, we have differences, and we should not be segregated for those, but we should celebrate those and I hope more women feel comfortable with that. And I think we're getting to that place where there's less of the judging and oh, you know, you have to have your own room to breast pump. Why would you want your wife? You know, doing that in a bathroom? Which isn't necessarily sanitary? Of course not. So, we there's things that, you know, it's not rocket science, but it's crazy that we still have to say, Hey, how about we do this a little bit better. And that would be the other thing. A lot of folks complain that there's a problem, or that there's an issue or there's an injustice, the amount of time wasted complaining when they could actually do something about it. And that's where I have put all my focus I don't even know if people I know that I served with even know that I'm doing some of this stuff, because I don't have time to telling you what I mean. about it, I'm going to do something about it. And if you can't help me move it forward, then I'm not going to waste my time with it.
Jasmin Hurley – Episode 38 19:20
Well, first things first, do your research at that time. So, 2000-2001 West Point did have a website? I think they just revamped their website, do the research, figure out if it's something that's right for you. West Point has what's called a field force. Those are folks who are alumni who are, you know, here to help as folks put together their packets as they put together their application materials to answer questions from contact, the admissions officer that is in charge of your area, and the admissions officer will be able to point you to those folks in your business. strict that can answer your questions if there are any service Academy nights. So, especially here in Ohio, Senator Brown, Senator Portman put on discussions with parents and potential candidates about the process of achieving, applying for and receiving a nomination. And usually at those I can say, for the West Point side, field Force officers are there to answer your questions that you can talk to, if you are considering West Point. In particular, like I said, do your research, check out the Air Force Academy, check out the Coast Guard Academy, all even dare say check out the Naval Academy, it doesn't hurt to understand, they do allow for visits, I don't know if any of the academy other academies do the summer, I'm not going to call it a summer camp, because there's nothing camp about it. But if they do something similar to the leadership course, see if you can attend that. I mean, for me, that was the final nail in the coffin, ongoing to the service Academy was attending the IAA W and meeting of folks and just getting a taste of what life would be like at West Point and just ask questions. And if anybody has questions, and they hear this, call me all or, you know, get in touch with me over LinkedIn, or whatever. And I'll help you find somebody that that you can talk to, or you can ask me questions and questions about it. And we can we can get you the information that you need to be able to figure out if this is what you want to do. And if it's not something you want to do, then that's okay, too. Well, I
Honorable Deborah James – Episode 40 21:45
would say that when I was entering the workforce back in the 1980s, I was standing on the shoulders of the women who had fought the battles in the 1960s and 1970s, and had acquired for the rest of us some rights and privileges, and expectations that didn't perhaps exist before. So, the mantra back then was, you can have it all. Recently, in more recent years, I think there's been a bit of a backlash on that. And there's this other sort of statement that you can't have it all, you know, you sort of have to choose. And I think both of those statements are wrong. So, my advice to women who are entering the workforce today is you can have it all, but you can't have it all Kirwan at once. And you can't do it all by yourself. So, it comes back to, you know, if you want a career and a family, you absolutely can do it. But you've got to pick your timing as best as you can, you've got to have help a posse of people around you to provide you with support, it sure also helps if your job has a certain amount of flexibility within it. And again, part of what we tried to do is provide more flexibility in the Air Force. But you can have it all, just not all at once. And not without help.
Katie Horgan – Episode 51 22:59
Two things. The first thing is for me personally, and if that was probably the best decision, I could have made I don't think that I ever thought that I was really capable of some of the stuff that I did. And it's not easy, like, don't get me wrong, it's not easy. It's very hard. But it was worth it to me meant that I proved to myself that I could do something that was difficult in a place where there aren't that many women. And like even if you if you're a man or a woman, it's so hard, but there just aren't that many women. So, I would say it was like an invaluable experience for me in terms of like personal and professional development. And the second one is, I would say, understand what you're getting yourself into, like I mean, think about, there's the logistics that come along with joining the military, for example, thing like your family, deploying, like the impact it has on relationships, whether you're in one now or you want to start one like that is a real thing. But just talk to as many people as you can to try to understand how that's going to impact your life. It's certainly not a reason not to do it. But I think you can make a more informed decision if you understand what you're going to be asked to do. And I certainly didn't understand and only now that I'm like a little bit older and wiser do I realize like what I put everyone through. And that's just like, that's not a reason not to join. But it's just something that, you know, this is it's not just you making the decision.
Angela Tormey – Episode 63 24:10
Go Air Force! I think it's one of those things I get to the military is not for everybody. It's truly not some great folks have walked away from the military. And I've helped people walk away from the military. When it comes to girls considering joining the military. Just ask what do you have to lose? It's a great opportunity. I've enjoyed it. Like I said, a lot of my best friendships came from the military. I not everything was all sunshine and rainbows and flowers granted, but I think overall, the experience was very good. I think that I wish I'd had more females to talk to before I joined the military because there, I have had a ton of questions. Most of them probably involve MEPS but beyond that, I think that you know they should talk to somebody about it talk to in not a professional or therapist or anything but talk to others. women that have served talk to different branches of service and find a, you know, find what will make you happy. And at the end of the day, if you don't like it, it's for years usually do just check it out. And you know, it's better to live a lifetime of knowing what happened rather than always asking what if,
Samantha Glassman – Episode 62 25:17
Study hard, and don't take any crap and do the job the best you can understand that in the military, even though it is a male dominated industry that people respect competence more than anything else, if you're good at your job, it doesn't matter if you're male, female, you know, black, white, anything else, if you're doing your job well, and you can be trusted to do your job at all times, and you do it well, you won't have any issues at all. The other thing I would say is just to recognize what an honor it is to be serving your nation's military to be wearing our flag, the armed services and veterans are some of the most respected group of people we still have in this country. And it's a brotherhood of arms and enjoy it, enjoy it while you can enjoy the travel opportunities. Enjoy that camaraderie that you have with your fellow airman. I'm telling you now there is not another company in the civilian side that will give that to you the full understanding that you're not only responsible for people at work, but you're responsible for people in their personal lives as well. So much of the job of the flight commander that I enjoyed so much was really taking care of people and getting involved in things that civilian companies don't do. I mean, even now, when my colleagues go out because they're sick, or they're having surgery or something, I'm always the one that asked them about it, because that's just the type of family that I came from in the Air Force. And so, enjoy it, have a great time, be smart. You know, don't do anything too dumb. I mean, we all do. But try not to get into too much trouble and enjoy the honor that it is to serve in the military.
Nicole Terwey – Episode 56 26:42
If someone could have told me what I'm going to say, like I think it would have made my time so much more enjoyable. And any girl that's thinking about joining, I would want to ask them, when you think about yourself in the military, how do you want to feel like how do you really want to feel and think about it and think about what you'll be doing when you're feeling that way? Like how you'll be treating people how you'll be taking care of yourself how you'll be learning and applying and, and how you and then what that's going to create for you and how you're going to show up for yourself and for others in the military. Like how do you want to feel. And most of the time, I think nearly all of us when we join, it's because we want to feel pride, we want to feel proud, we want to feel purposeful and fulfilled, and we want to feel a strong, we're doing something for ourselves because we're doing something for others. Like, we wouldn't willingly sign up. If we're feeling scared. Normally for feeling scared, we avoid things or if we feel resentful, we avoid things. So, I would want to ask them like, think about how you'll feel while you're in the military while you're serving. And then ask yourself, what do you what are you believing that is getting you to feel that way? Right? That is getting you to show up how you feel is best how you think it's going to create a result for you that you actually want for your time and service. Right? What do you want your entire experience to mean to you?
Gen Wilma Vaught – Episode 65 28:00
One of the first things that you need to understand that you need to take care of yourself in need to take care of your people. And if you don't take care of your people, you're going to be assured they're going to take care of you. And you may not like it too well when they take care of you because I have known people who didn't take care of their people and their people got rid of them. The second thing is don't lose your sense of humor, their times is just really tough. And you need to be able to think about things that so you don't lose your sense of humor, that you should have the courage to take and do volunteer work whenever you get that opportunity. Because it may be the opportunity to do something that may lead you to a promotion, or to some other job or something. But don't be afraid to take it and do a promotion. And to do everything you can to encourage those who come in contact with that aren't doing what they need to do to have a better life and a future you need to encourage them to go to college or to do whatever it is that they need to learn to do a better job, whatever it is to live better to get along with people better so that they do that and so that they have a better life for themselves. And maybe for you too because you're in those surroundings.
Lesley Lykins – Episode 67 29:35
Absolutely. 100% do it do it. We need you we need your brain. We need your way of thinking we need your service. There's just so much opportunity. And it was interesting, you know, I never in my career and I had opportunities to serve in not very integrated locations like my first job so I had these opportunities where it could have very easily, I felt like a horrible experience or I could have felt bias or something like that. And I didn't, I didn't feel that at all in the military. It wasn't until my civilian career when I started to feel that bias or that my opportunities weren't the same. Because of my gender in the military, I always felt a very equal platform, and a very great opportunity to continue to, you know, serve alongside my peers, no matter who they were, where they were from. So I think it's a great opportunity for women, I would say, if you do not want to have educational debt, this is your opportunity to take advantage of So, all of the various tuition assistance that the military offers the ROTC programs, the Academy's just tuition assistance, in general, when you're in this is your opportunity to set yourself up for success and to have a career trajectory that actually goes higher than your peers who are not serving in the military. So, I would say 100%, consider it. Well, it's funny that you should mention that my niece is 17. And I saw her just a couple weeks ago at a family function. And she said to me, you were in the military, I'm thinking of joining, what do you think, and the first thing I said was, I think you should listen to my podcast, and then decide for yourself because it has both the good and the bad stories. And then you can make an educated decision. And I said, but if you do decide to go into the military, I said, you know, go ROTC, go to college, and have that experience and then go in as an officer and have that experience. Because in a way, I wish that what I did, although I don't regret being enlisted, I met amazing people we had so much I had too much fun. So maybe that's part of it. That's what I would say. And I would say, if you want to go in no matter how you want to go in officer or enlisted, just do your research, make sure that it's the right fit for you. And then just do it, just do it. Because it does actually my mama was right, it is a great foundation to start your life.
Gwendolyn Jules – Episode 85 32:03
If you want to do it, go for it. But just understand what you are getting yourself into joining the military. So, you can get a college degree is probably not the best idea. One of the things that I found out about the military, like we were talking about earlier, I didn't know what I was getting myself into what I initially joined. But what I found out years later about the mission of the army was to go to war right into we're at war. So, the mission of the military isn't for you to get a college education, it isn't so you can pay for your standard of living. So, you have to understand what it is that you're getting yourself into. If you go into the military, I think that would be the biggest thing that I would tell people know what the mission of the military is, admit us, you may do all those other things, you may get your standard living taken care of, you may get a college degree, you may travel the world, but that's not the mission of the military, you just need to know what you're getting yourself into if you want to join.
Richelle Futch – Episode 86 32:55
Yeah, so one of the things I always like to remember is that meaning and truth evolve over time. And so, I can look back at my experience. And you know, even thinking about how to bestow that down on the next generations. And I know that they're not going to get the same value, because it was learned over time for me. And without that time, they're not going to learn the same things. So as a mental health counselor, now my advice would be if you're thinking about joining, you know, take three sessions with a counselor outside of the school outside of the military, and just get to know yourself, get to know your why. And make sure that you're on track, and then do check it check ins follow ups to make sure that you're still continuing to do that. So, you don't lose sight of that. And that as you grow, and as you evolve, your plan can grow and evolve with you. And so, take the time to really understand because if you're like I was where you just saw, there was no other option and you weren't sure, and you didn't have that guidance. You know, that's what that's what counselors can help you help you do; they can ask you those questions. Or they can say, did you know this? Or have you seen that, and that can give you that clarity, will also just shining the light on the path that you're getting ready to walk to make sure that you see it clearly before you take those steps. And so that's my advice.
Laura Colbert – Episode 87 34:05
As a high school teacher, I would give my presentation my and I would share my experience about Iraq all the time to my students. And it's not to highlight, you know, the good or the bad or the ugly or to persuade people with literally a sequential order of what happened. And just to give people some insight, because since we're not in the draft, or I feel like the gap between civilian and military is so huge. I get asked a lot well, would you recommend war and I always say that's up to you as an individual. I can tell you right now that it wasn't for me, I didn't like being told what to do by people who sometimes were a little bit less intelligent, or, you know, I didn't like being told what to do when I knew it wasn't the best situation. I didn't mind wearing the uniform. You know, it was nice enough to have to pick out your clothes every day. And I've loved how in shape I was and you know a lot about the military was really cool, but it's not for everybody. And I know that I'm much happier as a civilian than I was when I was in the military. And so, you have to look inside of you and think about where you're at as your own individual person and take that first you should join or not, I can't recommend it, I can't say don't do it, because that's not, that's not my place. It's just liked any job, being a teacher is really hard. Being a principal is really hard. And it's not for everybody, but you can make a huge impact on hundreds of people's lives. And then you don't know when that impact stops, because they might impact somebody else. But then when you impact them, and so it's just each their own. And whatever you need to do that it could be dangerous. And you could be risking your life and not ask yourself, if that's something you're willing to do. And knowing that you can't just get out of it flippantly like you can some other jobs.
Kim Sciutto-Bailey Episode 90 35:43
So that's tough, because I think a lot of people question me like, what I tell people not to join the military now that I know all of these things that have happened to me or that all the experiences that I had, and I wouldn't tell them not to join. I mean, I remember how I mentioned earlier on that I had that really great experience with leadership, there are people that have really good experiences in the military, my best advice would be just to know your resources to liked know yourself to always show up authentically, as yourself to self-advocate, because there are resources out there. And there's there are people who care, and there are people who will support you, even if you have to tell a few people, right even if you have to figure out a way to support with the right people, because not everybody is toxic. Just because you've had some bad experiences with people does not mean that every experience is going to be bad, you know. So those are important. And then also to have you ever experienced trauma or anything ever happens to you Just remember that that shame that guilt that you're experiencing, it does not belong to you, it is not yours, do not own that release that give it back to who it belongs to, even with you know, toxic leadership, all of those things, there are like I said, there's people that care, just know your resources and know you know, know your support, and have those readily available to you, in case you ever need them.
Nicole Malachowski – Episode 93 36:51
I would absolutely say if that's what your heart is telling you to do, then go for it. These are unprecedented times for women in the military, every single career field is open to you. If you follow your dreams, right? You're, you're going to be a trailblazer in a Vanguard, you're going to see the world you're going to lead people and be on a team, something so extraordinary, can't even imagine part of something bigger than yourself. And along the way, you're going to be making history, which is pretty darn cool. So, 100%I would go for it. I always tell people, you know, women can love their country to and some of us choose to show it by wearing our nation's uniform. So, we'd love to have more women in our ranks.
Ashleigh Magee – Episode 98 37:31
What I wish I could have told myself at the very beginning that I've learned now is you have to learn to be your own self advocate. There's going to be so many times in your military career or your life where you think you just you have to do something because someone else is demanding it from you. But the thing is, you have to take care of yourself in order to be the best at your job be the best version of yourself you know about the best you know, siblings, spouse, child whatever mother and so know that going into a career in the military I think I'm so grateful for my time in the military even though it's So, been hard it's shaped me into who I am and really align me with my purpose and my vision. So, I think military service is so beneficial. And there's so many wonderful things about it, but you have to remember to take care of yourself.
Amanda Huffman 38:30
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